Counting Down

I sit here literally counting down the hours
until we are home again.
As of this moment,
it is 35 hours and counting.
It is so difficult to watch as your child
cries hour after hour
repeating that she just wants to go home.
She knows she can't,
but her tears continue.
And with each tear, my heart breaks just a little more.
Compared to her last battle,
so far, the side effects have been few.
She has not gotten sick as of yet,
which was the worst side effect of her last chemo.
This new drug causes low blood pressure,
and sure enough I got to see it firsthand.
The first night we stayed over,
Ryan got up in the middle of the night
(she was supposed to wake me to help her)
and she called out to me and I got to her
just as she was losing consciousness.
The nurses rushed in and took her blood pressure
and it was an extremely low 68/30.
One of the scariest moments of my life :(

Thank you again for all the good thoughts
and prayers concerning Ryan.
Words cannot express how much they have meant to me.

Love,
Jody

Loved

The outpouring of love and support and prayers
that I have read on this blog of mine
has left me feeling...
humbled.
grateful.
and loved.
Thank you.
Ryan has come out of the surgery
to put in a new mediport
where she will be receiving her chemo.
She is sleeping now as I write this.
Chemo will start soon
and we are already counting down
the hours until Saturday
when we can bust out of here
and sleep in our own beds
and eat in our kitchen
and shower in our bathroom
and hug and kiss and fight
with each other in our own home.
Thank goodness for Ryan's laptop,
it is a wonderful distraction
to the ugliness of the hospital.
I will try to post
when I have something to update.
So thank you all for reading!
Much love,
Jody

Again.

It is with much sadness and much anger
that I have to write these next words.
My daughter Ryan has cancer.
Again.
These past 8 weeks have been sheer hell.
The "not knowing" sometimes is worse than
the actual hearing of the diagnosis.
The type of cancer she has (osteosarcoma)
is a highly reoccuring cancer that almost always
reoccurs in the lung.
So while we were resigned to the fact
that it probably was another tumor,
we hung on to the glimmer of hope that it wasn't.
Her oncologist was just as devastated
as we were with this news.
The good news (if there is any)
is that the entire nodule was removed,
and there were only traces of osteosarcoma present.
Right now, Ryan is probably cancer-free,
but protocol calls for chemotherapy to make sure
it does not return.
Again.
She begins treatment this Monday,
6 rounds: 5 days we will live in the hospital,
and then we will go home for 16 days.
Return for 5 days, go home for 16 days,
for a total of 6x.
The worst possible news to Ryan,
is that she will lose her hair.
Again.
So please bear with me
if I write a flurry of blogposts,
or if I am silent for 4 months.
I may scrap tonight about it,
or may never find the joy in scrapping.
Again.
I just ask of you to pray for my beautiful girl
to beat this monster.
Again.



Much love and thanks
Jody

Today Is The Anniversary Of The Day I Was Born

...or in other words...
it's my birthday!!!!!!!!!!
48 years ago, a baby girl was born in Brooklyn, N.Y.
There aren't many photos to commemorate
this world-changing event,
probably because I was the 2nd child.
(Which is probably why I am a crazed lunatic
about taking photos of my own girls. lol)
My sister used to tell me I was adopted
and that is why there was so few pictures of me.
It's ok...because I was the favorite,
right Karin? ;)

Recently, I was asked to contribute a layout
for the Ella Publishing Co. Sept. eZine
focusing on "Girly combinations" for a scrap page.
My three elements were:
1. floral patterned paper
2. scalloped circles
3. pink
And this is what I came up with:



I loved the quote:
"What I wanted most for my daughter
was that she be able to soar confidently in her own sky,
whatever that may be."

Again, thank you all for your supportive comments
regarding my Ryan's latest health issues.
She was released from the hospital last Friday,
still has a little pain,
but is returning to school today.
We have an appt. to see her oncologist on Wed.
for the results of the biopsy.
Please keep her in your thoughts until then...
-Jody

Thank You!

Hi everyone,
Just quickly checking in to tell you all
that my Ryan is out of surgery!
She is in alot of pain,
but hopefully she will be resting comfortably soon.
(with a self-administered pain pump!)
I want to thank each and everyone of you
for your comments here, on Facebook,
your emails and even some good old-fashioned snail mail!
It's nice to have such nice readers
who I can also consider my friends :*)



This photo was taken of Ryan
on her 1st day as a senior in high school.
:::sigh:::
I can still see her getting on the bus
for her 1st day of kindergarten, like it was yesterday.
It is unreal how quickly time flies
:*(
Give your children an extra long hug tonight, from me...
-Jody